


Touch Tone Telephone

by Shaderose



Series: Parkner Week 2020! [3]
Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies)
Genre: AM radio, Aliens, And Peter is a radio show host who is smitten, Coffee Shops, Conspiracy Theories, Crack, Crack Treated Seriously, Cutesy, Fluff, Fluffy, Harley is a conspiracy theorist, Idk how to tag this one either rip, KINDAA, Kinda, M/M, Mutual Pining, On the downlow, Pining, Radio, Sweet, Texting, coffee shop AU, radio station, text fic, this is a mess lmao
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-03
Updated: 2020-08-03
Packaged: 2021-03-06 07:28:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,747
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25689616
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shaderose/pseuds/Shaderose
Summary: "Hi, you guys still doing the paranormal segment... thing?""Yup, we are! You have a story you want to tell?" Peter leans forward, raptured, interested. They don't tend to do the segment very often, because they don't usually get anyone calling in with stories or experiences like they thought they would, when the radio station for the universy was first created, so to hear that they might have one now has Peter on the end of his seat, focused, intrigued.A chuckle comes across the line, low and nervous. "Uh, kind of? I have a- a theory. But its more about uh, aliens. If that's okay."~~“I am very small and I have no money.”/college au/no-powers au~~"I try to call you every dayI'm rehearsing what to say when the truth comes out (Of my very own mouth)I've been working on a unified theoryIf I make it through tonight everybody's gonna hear me out..."
Relationships: Harley Keener/Peter Parker
Series: Parkner Week 2020! [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1857949
Comments: 10
Kudos: 67
Collections: Parkner Week 2020





	Touch Tone Telephone

**Author's Note:**

> Day 3 everybody!!  
> Hope you guys enjoy! 💞💞

Peter is sighing slowly, chewing on the eraser of his pencil anf he scanning the page of his notes in front of him, trying to make sense of the messily written equations and formulas in front of him, when the phone rings.

He jumps, having not expected it, and pushes his glasses up his nose, narrowing his eyes at the blinking red light beside the phone, confused. He listens closer, and gets even more bewildered when he hears the faint music still playing from the computer, meaning music is still playing on the radio he's broadcasting. Usually he only gets a call when he forgets to play more music after his morning Playlist runs out, when someone calls to complain and take their fustrations out on him.

He doesn't look a gift horse in the mouth, though, and pushes away his notes, focusing all his attention onto the phone as he hovers his hand over the handle, takes a deep breath to prepare himself for human interaction, and picks it up, pressing it to his ear and chirping out a hopefully chipper, "Hey, this is 504 AM Radio, and Peter Parker speaking, how may I help you?"

"Hi, you guys still doing the paranormal segment... thing?" The voice that comes through the other end has a bit of static roughing it up because of the older phone of the station, but the southern drawl rings through with ease and makes Peter's cheeks flush, even as he scolds himself because _now is not the time, brain_ and tries to focus on what the person had said.

"Yup, we are! You have a story you want to tell?" Peter leans forward, raptured, interested. They don't tend to do the segment very often, because they don't usually get anyone calling in with stories or experiences like they thought they would, when the radio station for the universy was first created, so to hear that they might have one now has Peter on the end of his seat, focused, intrigued.

A chuckle comes across the line, low and nervous. "Uh, kind of? I have a- a _theory_. But its more about uh, aliens. If that's okay."

Unusual, Peter blinks, but that just intrigues him more, the brunette pushing his chair back so he can swivel around and grab a notepad and a pen, to make some personal notes of what the other person, the other _man_ he thinks- though he knows he shouldn't assume- says. Sue him, but he's a scientist, any time of theory or conspiracy of some sort interests him to no end. Its like a puzzle where you're missing some of the pieces, frustrating, but when you find more, and get closer to completing it, you feel more and more excited, more and more _satisfaction_ because of it. "Yeah, thats perfectly fine. We'll take anything we can get, honestly." Another chuckle, and Peter feels himself swoon again, before he shakes it off. He doesn't even know who this is, but goddamn it do they have a nice voice. Peter could probably hear them talk and chuckle and laugh for the rest of his life and still be happy. "Okay, so let me just get the recording started and then-"

He leans over to the computer, checking to make sure he had enough music set to play before- "Can this be anonymous?" The other voice cuts in, interrupts and Peter freezes, moving the mouse away from the record button and leaning back towards his pen and paper.

"Yeah, yeah of course! Sorry, I should've asked that." Peter fumbles with the phone, caught in between his raised shoulder and hunched over head, smiling sheepishly even though the person can't see it.

They can hear it though, seemingly, as they bark out a laugh that causes Peter to melt, his smile widening. "That's okay, don't worry. I just- don't want anyone in my classes to find out, you know?"

Peter hums in affirmation, knowing the feeling all too well of not wanted to be made fun of. "Yeah, I get that. I'll just write it down as you're talking and share it later, if that's okay?"

"Yeah, thats perfect, thank you." The relief in his voice is palpable, and Peter can't help the quirk of his lips again. "Sorry for- asking so much."

"Don't worry about it, really. It's no problem at all." Peter then shifts in his seat, getting comfortable before holding the pen above the paper and focusing his attention as much as he can on the person on the other line. "So, aliens, huh?"

"Yeah!" The other person already sounds much more enthused, much more passionate as they begin to speak. "We all know of the theories that aliens exist, right? Its highly plausible seeing as we live in an entire _universe_ full of planets and solar systems like ours, right? Well, I believe- well, actually, I _know_ that the government has already made contact with aliens, maybe having already _spoken_ to them in some way shape or form, and I believe its linked to the air force in some way. I mean, its shown in so many ways, like in 1995, when-"

And Peter listens carefully, to the words of passion whisped at him in a slightly southern twang, and jots everything of importance down, feeling his heart beating faster and knowing he's already falling for this person of mystery.

~~

"You're late," MJ narrows her eyes at him the minute Peter steps into the room, looking disheveled and all over the place, hair askew, rubbing his tight chest and breathing heavily, eyes wide, pleading for some semblance of mercy.

"I know, I'm so sorry. I have a bunch of gests coming up and I was up studying super late last night, and I forgot to set my alarm which I normally do before my shifts and I just-"

MJ snorts, loudly, loud enough to make Peters jaw shut with a faint click. "Its okay, Parker. Just get over here and make a playlist before the timer runs out."

He nods quickly before rushing over to the chair in front of the main computer they use for the music, dropping his heavy bookbag beside him with a large thump, before grabbing onto the mouse tightly, hand still slightly shaking from his nerves, and his run over, and clicking open their library to choose from. MJ just stares at him for a few seconds longer, before shaking her head with a faint twitch of her lips, grabbing a stack of papers off to the side and making her way towards the filing cabinets at the back of the room.

MJ was his boss, or at least his supervisor most of the time, having started the radio station a few years back, during her first year at NYU. She ran it all by herself for the past three years, before hiring Peter solely due to the fact that the workload had gotten too much to handle underneath all of the work that came with a double degree in English and History- something that still boggled Peter's science mind to this day, because _"who would want to do two of the most boring classes as degrees?? Simultaneously?!?"_ MJ had just told him sharpy, _"Not everyone likes biochem, Parker,"_ and put him onto records for the rest of the day as some sort of punishment. 

Peter respected her greatly, and over the past year, he thinks that they've become friends. _Maybe_. MJ was hard to read sometimes (a lot of the time), like a diary hidden from view, with a lock and key. Still a book, but unreadable, with a bunch of walls in the way that Peter's hopes to be able to break down, or to crawl over someday.

 _Not_ today though, as he already started off on her bad side by showing up almost a half an hour late on a Monday morning. He definitely wasn't pushing his luck.

He does as he's told for a good hour or so, making a playlist for the morning and booking out times for commercials and events, eyeing the time slot he had made for the paranormal section, only a mere few hours away, at around 2pm, when they get the most views, the most traffic of the day, before he yawns again, only about the twentieth or so of the morning.

Twenty or so too many, it seems, as the brunette across the room barks out at him, "Parker, go get some coffee or something. I'm tired of hearing you yawning all the time."

He goes ramrod straight in his chair, like a deer in the headlights after being called out so bluntly- something he's somewhat gotten used to with MJ-, his breath caught in his throat. He exhales it out slowly through his nose, calling over a small, sheepish, "Sorry MJ!" Before standing, stretching, and rushing out of the door, the cooler wind of the still early morning helpful to help settle the embarrassed flush that has risen to his cheeks.

He rushes over to the nearest coffee place he knows of, not want to dawdle for too long knowing he _already_ missed time this morning, and is thankful when he sees that there isn't much of a line. After a few short minutes of Peter stifling his yawns and the line moving steadily, its thankfully Peter's turn and he steps up to the counter just as the batista returns from handing out other customers drinks.

"Good morning, welcome to Star Cafe, how may I help you?" Peter's drowsiness disappears instantly as he hears the somehow familiar voice, his head snapping up and his eyes narrowing in concentration as he tries to pinpoint where he's seen the blond shaggy haired, bright blued eyes, _gorgeous as fuck_ guy in front of him, who is staring back at him in slight confusion now. "Uh, hello?"

Peter shakes himself from his stuper, and rubs his left eye, glancing down momentary to spot the _Harley_ written in plain black text across the mans name tag. Pretty name for a pretty guy. "Sorry, I thought I knew you from somewhere."

Harley snickers, and Peter's mind reels again because he could've _sworn_ he's heard that laugh before- "Well, darlin, I can tell you now that we've never met before. I would've remembered meeting a pretty face like you." He looks Peter up and down, then, very obviously, and grins, _winks_ , and before Peter can even _start_ to think about that, his mind blue screening, the blond is back into business mode, gentle smile on his face even as his eyes sparkle and his mouth twitches with amusement. "What can I get for ya?"

Peter just blinks for a few seconds, watching the mans smirk grow bigger as his face grows warmer, before he stutters out, "u-uh, just two medium regular coffees, one with 2 cream, 2 sugar, and one black. Please."

Harley hums as he puts in their order, and Peter could _swear_ the man was still teasing him as he cocks his hip to the side and asks, a country accent in full use, "That all, honey?" Peter knows he's probably a bright red by now, but he's hoping it isnt as obvious as he nods, his throat closed up and his mouth staying shut as it longs to speak words that are _not appropriate in this situation._ Harley's bright, baby blues are twinkling, so Peter knows it _is_ obvious. "Okay sweetheart, name for the bill, and for the barista?" He winks again, and _goddamn_ it, he's gotta stop doing that or Peter's gonna lose his mind.

"Uhm, P-Peter. Peter Parker."

"Okay perfect, Peter Parker." The blond sends him a blinding grin, and Peter swoons. "Your total is $4.73, will that be cash, debit or credit?"

Peter pays for the drinks, rushes over to the waiting line, and tries telling himself the man was _probably_ just flirtatious by nature and that he _probably_ acts that way with every customer, why would _Peter_ be any different? But then, he grabs his drinks from the other employee working, one with curly red hair and bright blue eyes and _man he's cute too,_ thanks them, and notices extra marker written on one of them. He's makes note of it, and once he gets back to the office, and hands MJ her "I'm sorry for being a mess today please forgive me" black coffee, he takes his own and turns the cup, face flaming as he sees a number written in bright black sharpie letters, and a small "Text me sometime, maybe?" Beneath it.

So, not like that with every customer. Cool cool, cool cool cool. But as much as the situation was _unusual_ to say the least, Harley _had_ been good looking, seemed pretty nice, and honestly, with Peter's busy life full of classes and work hours, he wasn't really sure if he'd ever get the chance to meet someone, and go on a date, something he had longed to do for the past while (it gets lonely in a one room apartment, after all). He itches to pull out his phone and text the man now, but he resists, knowing for one that Harley is working and won't be able to answer anyways, and two that _he's also working_ and probably shouldn't be texting in front of his boss.

So, he tells himself to text after his shift, and keeps his cup in view as he helps MJ file the last few papers, and gets back to work.

Its only when 2pm hits that Peter makes the connection.

He's about to go on air, just waiting for the song to taper off when the revelation smacks him in the face. Of course Harley's voice was familiar, _he was the one that gave him the theory Friday afternoon_. That would also make why Peter couldn't recognize his face make sense, because he had _never seen him before._ Peter leans back in his chair, pushing out a low, long puff of breath. Of course his life would be that crazy. Fricken Parker luck. He isn't sure whether to love it or loathe it right now.

He doesn't have time to fret or freak out over it though, as the song starts to fade out and he leans forward towards his mic, unmuting it just in time to start the segment, and repeat the words of the simple barista he had met earlier that day.

~~

** Unknown Number **

  
**Hello! Is this Harley from Star Cafe?**

**This is Peter from earlier today**

**Parker. Peter Parker**

  
_**Hey peter parker, always happy to see your face pop up on my screen. I was afraid you'd never text me** _

  
**Yeah, sorry I didn't text earlier. I was busy with school work and work work**

  
_**Thats cool, don't stress** _

_**Where do you work? Seeing as you know where i work** _

_**If you don't mind sharing ofc no pressure sorry** _

  
**Nah dwbi I don't mind**

**I work at the radio station for NYU, 504 AM**

  
_**Oh shit** _

  
**??? Did I say something wrong?**

  
_**No no no no no** _

_**No you didn't do anything I just** _

_**I think I've heard of you before** _

_**Or listened in at some point** _

  
**Oh have you?**

  
_**yea maybe** _

_**I mightve also** _

_**Called in at some point** _

_**Maybe** _

  
**Oh I know**

  
_**? You know?** _

  
**Its not everyday someone with a deep southern accent calls in about aliens, Harley 😂**

  
_**I-** _

_**Did you just use the laughing face, unironially?** _

_**How old** _ **are** _**you?** _

  
**_Shut up_ , I like it, okay? Lol**

**Can we get back to the cute barista with a theory about aliens please?**

  
_**Cute, huh?** _

_**Yeah i was hoping you wouldnt notice tbh** _

  
**Why? There's no shame**

**It was a good theory too**

  
_**More like** _ **proof**

 _**They** _ **exist** _**Peter** _

  
**Right, right, my bad ;P**

  
**_God you type like you're 80_ **

  
**Anyways, why do you work at Star Cafe?**

  
**_Cause I'm small and have no money_ **

  
**same**

**What do you major in?**

**I'm assuming you go to NYU too?**

  
_**Mechanical engineering, and yeah I do** _

_**U?** _

  
**Biochem**

  
**_Nerd_ **

  
**Says you, mister aliens**

_**shut** _

_**Your mouth** _

  
**Make me**

  
_**After a few dates, maybe** _

  
**A few dates, huh?**

  
_**Yeeup** _

_**Dinner, Friday night, 6pm?** _

  
**Sounds like a plan to me, space man**

  
**_sigh_ **

~~

Its a few years later, on their honeymoon in Mexico, that they hear of the first alien discovered by humans on the news.

Harley doesn't let Peter live it down for months.

Peter doesn't seem to mind.

**Author's Note:**

> Based off of the song: Touch Tone Telephone by Lemon Demon
> 
> Come say hi to me on tumblr! @shadedrose01 :)


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